Eric P. Metze
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Happy Winter Solstice!
Looooong before the words “Christmas,” “Hannukah,” “Kwanzaa,” and “Festivus” ever entered humanity’s vocabulary, we have been celebrating the winter solstice. And why not? Without modern technology and capitalism making us fat, warm, greedy, and complacent, we’d be hunkered down in our holes, caves, and huts trying to make it through the brutal winters. As many…
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Counting Bodies Like Metzae to the Lullaby of the Pet Drums
So, it occurred to me recently that there are four different versions of the same song that I had on my computer, but it’s not immediately obvious that this is the case. I just thought it was so weird that I wanted to share it. And, besides…I wanted to share my remix anyway. A Perfect…
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Symphoniacal
This is an epic musical collage, an homage to dark and powerful film scores.
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Stewart-Colbert2008.org Now Online
It’s time to change the sheets! Let the campaign for a new America begin! It’s not official yet, but that doesn’t mean we can’t start the groundswell of support. Sure, it’s a bit cynical of us to want a couple of television stars to run the nation, but if an actor can get elected as…
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Grand Army of the Republicans
Have you noticed that our military is getting a lot of training invading strangers in a “suburban” setting? How hard would it be for the president to convince 150,000+ soldiers to invade, say, Los Angeles? The Grand Army of the Republicans could do a lot of damage, and people would still have their “Support Our…
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Leap of Logic
Why is it a logic leap to say that existence implies a creator, but statistical inevitability is not? During a discussion I was having with one of my very good friends, a question came up that I had to stop and think about. It’s a delicate matter, with an important subtlety that has to be…
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American, Husband, Father, Soldier, Filmmaker, Über Goober
My cousin, Steve Metze, is currently serving in Iraq for the Texas National Guard. He has an interesting story, really. He’s a graduate of West Point, teaches Television and Film at the University of Texas, and is second or third in command of the Texas National Guard. In May of 2004 he got married, and…
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When It Rains, It Deluges
Rainfall has historically been something to look forward to, but India recently has learned firsthand the lesson about having too much of a good thing. As the death toll continues to rise, the rain continues to fall, and the pressures it puts on the people of the region create several social problems. This natural disaster…
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The Envelope, Please: Texas Education Report
The Texas Education Agency is going to release its findings on the academic performance of Texas public schools today, and the labels that they assign to each school could greatly influence many districts. The ratings given to each school affect the students, the faculty, the funding, and even the property value of the area around…
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Tonowi Is to Buymi
It is interesting to find two political systems that are so distinctly different from one another while certain aspects of these systems are so incredibly alike. The tonowi of the Kapauku from western New Guinea is the title given to a political leader. He has considerable power and influence over the people, and though it…
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The Politics of Womanhood
Perhaps not surprisingly, our male-dominated world has often marginalized women when it came to positions of power. The reasons for this are almost always based in our cultural expectations of women, which has been tolerant at best and despicable more often than not. Women have been forced to be resourceful, and it has been proven…
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Pesticides Intended for Non-Human Pests
A recently published study by the American Medical Association has pointed out serious concerns about the poisoning of schoolchildren from local pesticides (5). Some people are quick to point out that, of the incidences reported, most of the cases were mild. But many of these chemicals created serious illnesses for some children and employees of…
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Nuclear Family Meltdown
For the past half century or more, the ideal of a family in the United States was the nuclear family. Though the definition has changed somewhat to be more inclusive, it has not changed the fundamental nature of it. Ideal though it may seem, there are drawbacks to this type of family, which has likely led…
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Married to the Mob: Same-Sex Marriage’s Fight
The issue of same-sex marriages has been a hot topic for many years, but not nearly as hot as it has been the past few. The most recent nation to legalize same-sex marriage is one that is very close to us, both physically and politically. On the 20th of July, Canada became the fourth nation…
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How to Write a Good (Basic) Essay
1. Write a five-sentence summary about the whole paper, and try to make it mimic what your paper will look like when you’re done. The first sentence, like the first paragraph, is your introduction. The next three (or two, or four, or thirty, or whatever) sentences should be your “body” sentences, like the body paragraphs…
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Romantic Influence on Us All
Since we are very young we are bombarded with images and ideas of romance. It is an important factor in our society that affects and reinforces specific ideas about how relationships are supposed to form. There are problems inherent in this method of choosing mates, however, and they go beyond the purely superficial. It could…
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Trumping the Race Card
Racial inequality has plagued our nation so long that even in today’s relatively enlightened culture we find various forms of prejudice and discrimination. In a predominantly white nation, the darker ones skin tone, the more likely you are to suffer from racial inequality. This separation creates less opportunity for social advancements such as political influence,…
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Aggressive by Nature?
It was generally held for a long time that hunting, the act of stalking live prey and then killing it, contributed a great deal to our natural aggressive tendencies. After all, it seems perfectly natural to imagine how this ruthless ability to assault another living creature would serve our ancestors capture much-needed food. The problem…
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G-8 is Enough
The G-8 was created out of the eight richest countries in the world in order to fight poverty in Africa. Poverty affects more people throughout the world than all of the citizens represented by their leaders in the G-8 conference. But poverty happens even in these countries, including the United States. It is not a…
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Out of Africa, Too
There are three pervading hypotheses about the emergence of modern humans. While I was reading the summaries of the three hypotheses, I began to I favor the so-called multiregional hypothesis, which states that our species evolved relatively simultaneously in several parts of the Old World. I understood the logic behind the “Eve†hypothesis, which supports…
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Red Oil Scare
China has made an unsolicited offer to acquire one of the largest United States-based oil company, which would essentially double its oil and gas output (2). The organization that is making the offer, the Chinese National Offshore Oil Company, is a state-run organization of the Chinese government. Because of the cultural differences between the capitalist…
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Why Evolution Is Scientific and Creationism Is Not
Evolution is a product of the scientific process. It is often touted by critics as being “only a theory.” The irony is that if they truly understood the word theory they would not be so quick to call it that. Our text describes the word as “an explanation of natural phenomena, supported by a reliable…
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Terrorism at Home, Even When Abroad
The recent terrorist attacks in London remind us that people are still willing to use the most extreme measures to make their voices heard. It seems now that more people condemn terrorism than ever before, and yet it continues even in one of the world’s safest nations. It is a difficult task to overcome terrorism,…
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You Are Not Agnostic
This is an old paper I wrote for a religion class, and I’m only leaving it here for posterity. I may replace it with a more concise version (because this one is too academic) once I feel the motivation. This version does not fully represent what I believe now. Agnosticism is the belief that it…
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Now that the circle is complete…
Well, finally, the waiting is over. I spent yesterday watching The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, then the Clone Wars series, which ended twenty minutes before I walked into the theater to see Revenge of the Sith. It was almost eight years ago that I first heard these films were going to be produced.…
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T&A (Testosterone and Alcohol)
Why are people so shitty to each other? Furthermore, when someone is being shitty to someone, why does everyone allow it to happen? Last night I was enjoying a night out with my friends at a bar when I noticed a loud noise coming from the men’s restroom. I immediately knew something wasn’t right and…
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Meddling Honor
For this assignment, we were supposed to have a three-person dialogue about video games without using quotes or identifying markers. I kind of cheated here by adding color, but I’m sure no one will really care either way.
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I Know, I Know
The purpose of this assignment was to help us construct the smallest story without having to write an introduction, and to concentrate on developing the story and characters in what was implied rather than said. In case you’re wondering, they are not on ecstasy.
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Mr. Reman
The assignment was to write about a serial killer doing something mundane, like shopping. I’m sorry but I just can’t help but think in the future. The main character in this story was originally named Mr. Rivus, but I had to use that name somewhere more important.
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A Little Role Play
This assignment was to write a dialogue between two people without using identifying markers like, “he said,” and “said Kari.” I don’t remember what the content requirements were, but I would guess there weren’t any. My professors are good about that.
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Probably Not the Greatest Story Ever Told
The assignment here was to “write the worst, horriblest story” I could. I’m sure it could’ve been worse, but I wanted to be somewhat readable. Though I’m sure I missed a few, I tried to break every rule I could think of, including (but not limited to) grammar, spelling, coherency, decency, and blasphemy. How many…
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Shifting Sands
This is a short story about two men in the middle of the Iraq war from each person’s perspective. One is American and the other is Iraqi. I messed up this assignment because it was supposed to have three perspectives, which threw my creative writing class off. They were confused as to who was speaking.…
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Dude…Chicks
The assignment was to write from the perspective of someone who is wearing two different shoes and suddenly realizes it. They were supposed to think that everyone noticed and (I guess) freak out about it. My only fear with this story (besides how insufferably lame it is) is that someone might completely miss the irony.…
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When Good Characters Go Bad
I originally started writing a story where the author torments the main character by putting him in various weird situations. I set it aside for a long time until I was told to write a metafiction story. I pulled out the sections that did not fit my new story and wrote the rest months later.…
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The Drug Dealer
This was an assignment where I was supposed to read T. Coraghessan Boyle’s “The Hit Man” and rewrite it using any other profession. It is intended to be a humorous piece about the life of a drug dealer. Special thanks to Boyle for not suing me (yet) for “borrowing” the idea. Try not to take…
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The Orwellian Bush Doctrine
I keep saying it, but no one believes me. I swear the Bush administration has 1984 on their required reading lists, at least for those with real influence. Bush’s speeches, his thoughts, his motivations…they’re right out of the Big Brother world. Anyone know of any other (perhaps better) examples of these? This was just what…
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There’s a Difference between Thinking and Doing
A family member recently sent out a family email and it got our discussion juices flowing again. My problem with the email was that it portrayed liberally-minded people as foolish and weak. If you really believe that, then this email is definitely for you. Someone said that (most, if not all) liberals ACTUALLY believe that…
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There Is No Spoon
There is a scene in the movie “The Matrix” where the main character, Neo, is visiting a so-called oracle. As he waits to see her, he looks at the other “potentials” that stay with her. These potentials, all children, are able to manipulate objects using what appears to be telekinesis. At one point, Neo leans…