Statuses

I’m often asked why I constantly engage people in discussions where it’s clear that I’m never going to convince them. The answer is simple: I’m more interested in reaching the thoughtful majority than the vocal minority.

Jul 3, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Oh, why can’t I be different like everyone else?

Jun 27, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I will always despise bullies because they taught me how it feels to hate.

May 16, 2014

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Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Food should come in three sizes: small, medium, and leftovers.

Apr 20, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
I realize that I’m weird, and I’m weirdly okay with that.

Apr 8, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I have a powerful, painful, and potentially wonderful story to tell everyone, but I can’t yet because I’m not done living it.

Mar 25, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
The brain is deficient when it comes to matters of the heart.

Mar 25, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
People don’t like to be told anything, especially if it’s the truth.

Mar 23, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
Your birthday now guarantees that your name will go viral at least once a year.

Mar 20, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
It’s more important to look at what’s ahead of you than what’s in front of you.

Mar 7, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
If you ever begin to worry that no one cares about you, try skipping a credit card payment.

Feb 20, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I am way too amused by the fact that the abbreviation for today’s holiday is VD.

Feb 14, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I just gained about five pounds while making a dozen breakfast burritos. Some assembly lines are more delicious than others.

Feb 9, 2014

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Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Evidence > Confidence

Feb 4, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Never go full neckbeard.

Jan 31, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
This morning I asked the Internet about the Grammy Awards, and it told me they sucked.

Jan 27, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I have really got to get on this “I believe something and therefore it’s rude of you to question it” bandwagon.

Jan 23, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
People tend to forget that the term “profanity” is entirely subjective.

Jan 14, 2014

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
Egg nog sounds like something illegal you do to a chicken.

Dec 24, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Facebook will never have a dislike button. You can’t unsubscribe from something you don’t subscribe to.

Dec 10, 2013

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Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Why is it more socially acceptable to be an asshole than it is to call someone out for being one?

Nov 22, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I love the Internet. Even though bad ideas are constantly propagated, good ideas are also propagated. And I have faith that humans as a whole will rise above the bullshit.

Nov 18, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
There are few things I’m intolerant of as intolerance and few things I hate more than hate.

Nov 2, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
It’s a good thing there isn’t a font for sarcasm because that would never be useful.

Oct 24, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
When someone asks you, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The answer should be, “Yes.”

Oct 18, 2013

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Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all my education, it’s that being more informed doesn’t necessarily make you smarter.

Oct 13, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
Family is defined more by the impulses in our brains than what pulses through our veins.

Oct 6, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
I love that the Internet will provide such a detailed record to our descendants of who we truly were as individuals.

Oct 1, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
I look forward to the day when thanking someone for their service to their country refers to something other than war.

Sep 23, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
“Let’s agree to disagree” is obstinacy cloaked in reasonability.

Sep 14, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
Patriotism is provincial.

Sep 9, 2013

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Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
Telling someone they’re wrong hardly ever proves anything, but showing them the truth…well, that’s a different story.

Aug 24, 2013

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Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
Humans are just domesticated primates.

Aug 14, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
People who have no baggage are clearly underprepared, and people with too much baggage will cause you to carry more than your fair share.

Aug 13, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
If there’s one good thing about the unwarranted negativity aimed at Obama, it’s that I can see how wrong I was to blame everything on Bush.

Aug 9, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I wish everyone loved their siblings as much as I love mine.

Jul 31, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Just because you’re perfect for them doesn’t mean they’re perfect for you.

Jul 30, 2013

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Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
Internet memes are the most rampant and tiresome form of plagiarism.

Jul 28, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Don’t confuse modesty for a lack of confidence.

Jul 27, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, you’re a sociopath taking advantage of someone’s humanity.

Jul 25, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
We should strive to put at least a paragraph’s worth of thought into every sentence we write.

Jul 24, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms
Shorts on men shouldn’t be ironic or literal. If they go down to your shins they’re not short, and if they show off your upper thighs they’re way too short.

Jul 22, 2013

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates