Updates

Remember kids, unsubstantiated claims speak more to the arguer than the argument.

Jul 22, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Pithy Aphorisms, Updates
I take no pleasure in watching the party of most of my friends and family tear itself apart. A democracy only works when it properly represents everyone, not just those who have hijacked it.

Jul 21, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Of all the things you could do with your life, why would you waste it by taking someone else’s?

Jul 14, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Complaining about Pokémon Go on social media is like complaining about sports at a soccer match.

Jul 13, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I love that we live in an era where information is available to so many, but I hate the fact that skepticism and critical thinking are taught to so few.

Jul 13, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Opinion, Updates
“Bury me wherever…

Jul 1, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Random Dialogue, Updates

“Bury me wherever,” he said with a casual wave of his hand. “Graveyards are for the living.”
“Other people don’t think like that…

Jul 1, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Random Dialogue, Updates

“Oh, it doesn’t matter. Other people don’t think like that.” “Have you met other people?!”
I realize I’m kind of a nerd. But in my defense, I am kind of a nerd.

Apr 7, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I’ve had a checking account for several years and haven’t written a single check.

Mar 26, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
We aren’t red or blue; we’re shades of purple.

Mar 23, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Opinion, Pithy Aphorisms, Updates
I look forward to every birthday. Not because of the completely undeserved yet entirely appreciated kindness from people, but because of the bonus XP and +wisdom.

Mar 21, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Socialism: a range of economic and social systems characterized by a lack of understanding by the majority of its critics.

Mar 10, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
The weirdest thing about vaping is how everyone pretends it isn’t obnoxious.

Mar 7, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I miss Spot. I hope she’s somewhere safe.

Feb 23, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
The Internet needs less sharing and more curating.

Feb 17, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I just laughed so hard I feared for my life.

Feb 9, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I don’t care who you are, where you come from, or what you believe as long as you have no association with a towing company.

Feb 6, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I don’t mean to overgeneralize, but you people are beautiful.

Jan 21, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I don’t mean to overgeneralize, but you people are beautiful.

Jan 21, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Dallas: where traffic can be caused by something as innocuous as overcast skies.

Jan 21, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Dallas: where traffic can be caused by something as innocuous as overcast skies.

Jan 21, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I’m proud to admit that I haven’t wasted a single penny on the lottery since the day I realized that it’s just a tax for people who ignore the math.

Jan 13, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
If I’ve learned only one thing over the past year, it’s that everyone looks ridiculous if you pause their footage at the right moment.

Jan 11, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
You remind me of the babe.

Jan 11, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Your clickbait is bad and you should feel bad.

Jan 8, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
In all seriousness, I need something like a cattle guard to keep my cats from standing in front of my monitors while I work.

Jan 6, 2016

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
This week’s weather is brought to you by Star Wars: The Force Awakens! In theaters now!

Dec 28, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
After exactly two-and-a-half months without internet, I’m officially back online. It’s a Christmas miracle!

Dec 24, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Consider this: The Force Awakens is currently the highest-rated Star Wars movie on Rotten Tomatoes.

Dec 23, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
What you need to know about The Force Awakens: it was totally worth the wait and you need to see it before the Internet ruins it for you.

Dec 17, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Marty McFly Has Arrived

Oct 21, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
I’ve finally adjusted to the local time zone, so you know what that means: time to fly several hours to a different time zone!

Oct 19, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
The guy on the plane beside me was merely annoying right up until the moment he started puking everywhere. Now there are no words. Luckily for me, this flight is only 8 hours long!

Oct 15, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
The palpable frustration filling my social media feed is a huge reason why I don’t follow sports anymore.

Oct 3, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Anyone who suggests that mass shootings are orchestrated in order to take away our guns should be forced to give up their guns because they’re too stupid to use them responsibly.

Oct 1, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Opinion, Updates
population of India: 1.25 billion; population of China: 1.36 billion; population of Facebook: 1.47 billion

Sep 27, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Confession: I’ve had meals that cost $100 that were just as satisfying as a $1 cheeseburger.

Sep 21, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
31% of the world is Christian and 23% of the world is Muslim. Guess which group is third.

Sep 15, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
There was a time when having a lot of cash on me meant I was doing something right, but now it usually means I’ve done something wrong.

Sep 14, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
The worst part about being a hater must be that feeling that everyone always seems to be working against you.

Sep 4, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
That awkward moment when the loyalty you have for someone runs deeper than the respect they have for themselves.

Sep 2, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates
Blue Bell ice cream has killed more Americans than Ebola.

Sep 1, 2015

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by

Eric P. Metze

in Updates