Tag: humor
You know Dasher & Dancer & Prancer & Vixen, Comet & Cupid & Donder & Blitzen; But they were, all of them, deceived, for another reindeer was made…
As a lifelong renter, I lack many required skills to be a homeowner. I have a tendency to turn DIY into FIUY.
I just overheard a conversation between two people of different generations confusing the Rapture and the Purge. It was delightfully hilarious.
I’ve been playing this awesome video game all night called Amazon Prime. I win every game and get an actual prize, but these microtransactions are eating me up.
When I was a little kid, I used to think the term “honky” referred to the fact that white people always seem to be honking at each other. #truestory
Home is where the wifi is.
I just laughed so hard I feared for my life.
Dallas: where traffic can be caused by something as innocuous as overcast skies.
If I’ve learned only one thing over the past year, it’s that everyone looks ridiculous if you pause their footage at the right moment.
Back in my day, it was called a pound sign. And we liked it that way! #GetOffMyLawn
Dear California, Your water was delivered to us by mistake. Please come pick it up as soon as possible. Sincerely, Texas
.ekil sleef gal tej tahw si siht oS
Mouser Electronics & Grant Imahara – Space Gag Reel
Produced for Mouser Electronics by Mediajuice Studios Directed by Jeremy Snead Edited by Kevin Clancy Filmed by Eric P. Metze, Kevin Clancy, and Jeremy Snead
Bedtime Movie Poster Goes Viral
A friend of mine posted a picture of her son to Facebook, and all I could see was the cover to a horror movie. I became obsessed with it and spent a ridiculous amount of time working on it, but it paid off.
Bad news: while I was driving down the highway my windshield wipers froze and I suddenly lost the ability to see. Good news: I was wearing Depends.
I have been informed that my writing seems to be infused with too much passive voice, but I believe it has been shown that this is something that cannot be stopped.
Grammer; your doing it wrong.
I sure am concerned about FaceSpace posting my private information to the TwitterGram.
If you have a mimosa before noon it’s called brunch. If you have a screwdriver before noon it’s called alcoholism.
BREAKING: The CDC admits that Ebola can be transmitted by talking about it online.
A bad metaphor is like a bad wine: if you drink enough, who cares?
I was going to work out, but I was too tired. I call it pumping irony.
Oh, why can’t I be different like everyone else?
Food should come in three sizes: small, medium, and leftovers.
If you ever begin to worry that no one cares about you, try skipping a credit card payment.
I just gained about five pounds while making a dozen breakfast burritos. Some assembly lines are more delicious than others.
The Kronies
The bar for political satire was just launched into space.
Egg nog sounds like something illegal you do to a chicken.
Ten Terribly Terrific Tall Tales Trying to Trip the Triune
This is a collection of ten short stories that were intended to bemuse, berate, and bewilder.
This is the greatest radio performance in geek history.
What happens when you take some of the greatest voice actors of our time, give them the script to the original Star Wars, and assign them different voices for each scene? Nerdgasm! On March 31st, 2012 Billy West, Tara Strong, Maurice LaMarche, John DiMaggio, Kevin Conroy, Jess Harnell and Rob Paulsen (moderated by Jeff Zannini) […]
Love: A Tragedy
Absolutely. Glorious. I know so many people that will love this. (Just be aware that it has strong language.)
Have you ever clicked a link and lost an hour of your life surfing randomly? On a related note, why do people ask rhetorical questions?
I could start my own personal “Texts from Last Night” collection, which means I definitely shouldn’t.
My cousin was cool enough to find an excuse for me to chat with this really cute girl, and I was cool enough to totally blow it.
I used my GPS system to find an ATM machine, and then the CIA agency contacted me because I used the wrong PIN number.
The American Dream
This is a really excellent explanation of how our financial system works, but it’s probably too much truth for our society to handle. If Americans fully understood the truth it would bring ecoterrorists, liberals, independents, conservatives, teabaggers, and even anarchists together.
“If you’ve ever used the word ‘liberal’ as an insult, you might be a redneck.” ~Jeff Fauxworthy
“This guy really likes to think outside of the box.”
“This guy really likes to think outside of the box.” “How outside of the box are we talking?” “On a scale from 1 to 10?” “Yeah.” “Pineapple.”
Valentine’s Day
“So, having a good time so far?”
“So, having a good time so far?” “Yeah, I am. How about you?” “Well, you haven’t crushed my heart yet.” “This is just our first date.” “Then we’re off to a good start!”