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December
31
2018
2019’s New Year’s resolution is 5760×1080.
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Statuses
May
27
2017
I just got caught in the middle of a field as the sprinklers turned on. My first thought was, “It’s all good. Video games have trained me for this.”
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Statuses
May
11
2017
I really need a kid so I have an excuse to buy toys for myself. I mean for them. I mean for myself.
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Statuses
April
6
2017
I will never forget that March 19th, 2003 was the day our president set us on a path to war that–fourteen years later–still hasn’t ended.
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Opinion
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Statuses
February
14
2017
Y’all remember when the news was vetted by journalists, not just anyone with an email address? Good times.
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January
30
2017
The top lawyer in the U.S. was just fired for having a different interpretation of the law than a president who has never studied it.
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Statuses
January
25
2017
Virtually everything has a spell-checker, yet many people still won’t use them. That doesn’t give me a lot of enthusiasm for fact-checkers.
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Statuses
January
20
2017
Stop using politics as an excuse to get out of adult conversations.
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Statuses
January
11
2017
Everything you need to know about @realDonaldTrump is that he believes @CNN is “fake news” but @PrisonPlanetTV is actual journalism.
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Statuses
January
10
2017
The irony of having such pleasant weather in January is that the weather isn’t supposed to be pleasant in January.
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